Baby’s First Guru: You!

Guru is defined as a teacher giving personal religious instruction. An intellectual or spiritual guide; wise leader. According to that definition you definitely are your baby’s first and most important guru. You are their greatest influence and teacher throughout their developmental years. For so long we’ve been told that children under six are too young to understand abstract ideas. But I have found that children under six often have profound spiritual experiences. They also have a natural sense of wonder about the world around them. Children need to make sense of the world and their place in it. They like to know what will happen next and what control they have over things.

All children have a spiritual life whether they attend church, synagogue, mosque, or not. Even children of agnostic or atheist parents have spiritual experiences or are exposed to others who believe in a Supreme Being. These experiences will naturally lead to questions:

What is God? What does He look like? Where is God? Can He hear us? Does He know everything that happens? How can He keep track of everyone? Why does He let bad things happen? What does He think about us when we are bad? How do you hear God? What happens when we die? Where is heaven? Where is hell? Is the devil real? What is a soul? How does it leave the body when we die? Do animals have souls? 

Obviously the questions can go on and on. It is easy to see why some parents and religious teachers get frustrated or even angry and tell children to stop with all the questions. But the questions are still there even if they aren’t being voiced. My belief is that it is always best to be honest. Answer what you can and admit what you don’t know. You can even turn the question around, asking your child what he/she thinks. This will provide a great opportunity to see how they are processing the spiritual and religious stories they hear. It will give you a chance to straighten out any misconceptions, state your views, and help them make sense of the world they can’t see.

Admitting what you don’t know also lets children know that figuring things out is an ongoing part of life. We don’t want our children’s faith to be a rubber stamp of our own. Even if you do, it won’t be. Their life experiences and therefore beliefs will end up being different from your own. 

The longer children are on this planet and become influenced by peers, society and the media, the more they can lose their innate awareness of the Spirit that exists in life. As parents we need to make sure our children maintain and develop their inner spiritual selves as they grow. That’s a big responsibility and one I feel is as important as providing them with food and shelter. Remember that when they are young, you hold their developing souls in the palm of your hand. Parent with love and honesty and listen when they speak. When we listen to our children and have honest discussions with them, we validate their sense of being a person of worth. Growing up knowing they and their thoughts are important will help them to be strong when peer pressure comes along. It will also help keep the doors of communication open when they become teenagers. Remember also, that children learn from what we do as well as what we say. Living life with integrity is the best example we can set for our children.

Unconditional love, acceptance, integrity and honest communication are parental attributes that can provide our children with a firm spiritual foundation to build upon throughout their lives.